Reimagining Mothers
Why mothers should be on tech advisory boards
I had a lovely Mother’s Day! Memories of my own wonderful mom. Flowers and thoughtful gifts from my kids. And all because I am lucky enough to be a mom. And not just to be a mom, but to be a mom on my terms, in my timeframe, with the support of family and friends, to some truly outstandingly wonderful kids.
Mother’s Day used to be narrowly defined, limited to women who had a child. These days, women have dramatically broadened the scope. Over the last 15-20 years I’ve seen a trend, an acknowledgement and inclusiveness of what constitutes ‘mothering’, and a celebration of all women who fill the myriad roles that are required to turn squalling infants into healthy, functioning, contributing adults.
Over the last 15-20 years, we actively acknowledge and respect women’s role in shaping society, however that role is thoughtfully assumed. Aunts, sisters, daughters, grandmothers, foster, adoptive, informal, childless by choice, childless not by choice, mothers who have lost a child, caregivers for elderly relatives, caregivers for family members with serious health challenges, pet moms, volunteers working with children. Basically, we are recognizing all the women who touch the lives of others positively, because we understand how hard it is to keep humanity moving forward, improving, and on an even keel.
This Mother’s Day I’m calling for further expansion of the role of mothers, in recognition of just how critical mothering is to the human race.
We need mothers on well-paid advisory boards in all critical fields, starting with tech.
In the last week I’ve engaged in a number of conversations about the role of Artificial Intelligence (AI). Over the past year I’ve noticed an unsurprising trend. Robots are almost always created to look like comic-book interpretations of sexy, submissive young women. AI is pitched as the answer to all the world’s problems, especially the complex problems that humans have not solved. At it’s worst, AI looks like, not just an experiment by middle-school-aged boys, but the worst manifestation of the breed. Sniggering about sex, risk-taking with zero concern for the implications, egging each other on to greater outrage. You’ve all seen it - the giggles, the jostling, the ‘do you think we can get away with this’ look, the belief in their own invincibility.
Most men evolve beyond the middle-school mentality. Most, but not all. I’m thinking of some particularly heinous examples by powerful men over the last 20 years, and particularly in the last 6 years. But even the apparent adults in the tech world seem to fall prey, with their big toys and obliviousness to the rest of the human race.
Cracks of concern are starting to show.
The AI Pause letter caused for a pause on development of AI until ethics and regulations caught up. Classic, and much needed adult intervention. Even Elon Musk and Steel Wozniak, plus founders of multiple AI firms, signed the letter, some of whom I would put firmly in the ‘emotionally arrested in middle school’ category of social skills. If the people who have been pushing for AI are concerned, the rest of us should be terrified. More concerning, Google CEO Sundar Pichai, said that harmful applications of AI technology are “very legitimate”, but that “the tech industry should be trusted to responsibly regulate its use”.
Asking me to trust an industry which has actively resisted oversight, paid millions to lobbyists to avoid oversight and to shield income from taxation, created biased algorithms which have interfered in democracies and elections around the world, intentionally created addicting behavior, specifically targeted young women with addicting damaging content, and has turned an essentially blind eye to sexual harassment, degradation of women, violence towards women, gun violence, extremism in all forms and other socially damaging behavior, well, let’s just say I’m not that stupid. And don’t ask me to trust that this time they’ll get it right, ‘one more chance’. I’m a mother. I know better.
Hence my recommendation that all tech firms should be forced to have an advisory board of mothers. Specifically mothers who have already, and relatively recently, actively mothered teenagers. And by advisory board, I mean a public, transparent board with a representative on the Board of Directors.
This is a serious recommendation. Deadly serious.
Yes, you can fight back saying it’s sexist, that we need male voices as well, but the statistics are clear, tech is already dominated by men, and the numbers are getting worse, not better. Yet, for every 1% increase in female representation on the board, there is at least a 4% decrease in the probability that the corporation will be associated with a violation of the law. Plenty of other studies showing that female representation increases profits, better decisions, etc, etc, etc. But most decisions are made on emotion, not logic, despite what the tech bros would have us believe, and tech has shown little to no ability to regulate their own behavior.
You can say ‘what do mothers know?’ Wouldn’t they have to be experts in tech as well? To which I answer, they should NOT be experts in tech, they should have an understanding of how ideas translate into actual human behavior and the impact of bad ideas on humans. They should definitely have an understanding of the mentality which is too prevalent in tech - the high-risk, no consequences mentality that is inherent in middle-school boys with their disconnected prefrontal cortex and predilection for risk. Or as wildlife biologist Dr. Catherine Raven memorably said, “Males engage in activities that are not evolutionarily stable.”
We spend one day a year worshiping mothers. We spend 364 days a year stripping the rights of all women to have and raise children responsibly. We make it difficult, if not impossible to have fulfilling careers and the fair pay that is needed to actually raise children. We trivialize the importance of mothers in creating a society that is functioning and decent. We alternate between deifying and demonizing mothers. But at the end of the day, with only a few warped exceptions, every mother on Earth would give her life for her child. Isn’t that the mentality we need providing oversight to technology which could irrevocably change or harm the human race?
Time to reimagine how we use the accumulated knowledge of mothers. They’ve seen everything, done everything, know every trick and evasion in the book. But most of all, they see the full potential of the humans in their care. They believe in limitless possibility. And they’ll fight to have that potential and possibility realized, without anyone dying. We need mother’s voices.