Be a Verb
How we live and act is more important than what we are
“I realized that what mattered most to me was not what something was, but its behavior: how it lived and what it did.”
“You know what I’m going to be now that I’m grown up? A verb.”
“I had been trying to define myself with a noun, a title that identified an occupation, while I should have been relying on verbs. Entitling nouns deceived people. Maybe on purpose. I would rather someone tell me that he sings than he is a singer. The latter phrase is trying to nudge me someplace I may not want to go. He hunts is a specific phrase, weighted with responsibility; he is a hunter implies more than it guarantees. To say “I teach and guide students” seemed more honest than saying “I’m a professor. “ I didn’t need to be: I needed to do. So I began to choose some verbs: write, teach, explore the relationship between people and wild animals. Tend a property.”
“How often in life do we discover that the source of all our worries is simply a poor grammatical choice?”
I read this passage in Dr. Catherine Raven’s excellent book, “Fox and I: An Uncommon Friendship”. I can not possibly elaborate on the simplicity and power of the idea. It’s one of those ideas that stops you in your tracks and makes you rethink how you are living your life.
I spent too many years defining myself as a noun.
Consultant. Activist. Even my non-professional activities were defined as nouns: daughter, sister, wife, mother, volunteer, traveler.
And yet, the most powerful and enduring self-explorations that has moved me forward have always involved verbs. The most common exercises always involve looking at a list of verbs and pulling the 10, the 5, the 3 that resonate most deeply. We seem to instinctually know that action, verbs, will propel us forward, upward, onward.
When I think of my verbs, they speak clearly of my values and my skills, they speak to what I do. Write. Speak. Consult. Teach. Challenge. Change. Mentor. Uplift. Create. Travel. Learn. Explore. My verbs describe someone who is active and engaged - they describe me.
What nouns have you been using to define yourself, to hide behind?
What are your verbs?
Do you want to be a noun or a verb?
Quotes are respectfully and reverently copied, with thanks to the author for her wisdom. I keep small post-it notes next to me when I read, to note anything that speaks deeply to me. “Fox and I” looks like a porcupine. “Fox and I: An Uncommon Friendship” Copyright 2021 by Catherine Raven, published by Spiegel & Gray, New York.