Lies
Start calling out lies.
A BBC journalist created fake documents and false pretenses to convince Princess Diana and her brother that news organizations and ‘others’ were paying for inside information in order to land an interview that was viewed by almost 40% of the British public. 25 years later, the reprehensible ploy has come to light. While the journalist says he is “deeply sorry”, he says the interview didn’t cause her harm.
After the interview, the Queen sent letters to Charles and Diana advising them to divorce. The divorce was final in August 1996, and, hounded by paparazzi, Diana died in a car crash one year later. 24 years later her son left the royal family because his wife was being hounded by negative press, which understandably triggered terrible memories. Both her sons have become advocates for mental health, having experienced deeply damaging loss personally.
Sounds like ‘harm’ to me.
You could reasonably argue both sides of the fault, because of course we must be reasonable. Diana was hounded by the press. Diana courted the press. The journalist was pursuing a story which impacted the monarchy, of legitimate historical import. The journalist emotionally exploited a woman with an unfaithful husband to raise his own profile.
Personally, I think the journalist was totally without professional ethics and embraced sensationalism and salaciousness to attract 15 minutes of fame to bolster his pathetic little ego. The tool for his ambition died, leaving sons who were only 12 and 15, while he had a lengthy and respected career, presumably based on his perceived journalistic integrity but certainly because of his brush with fame. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s years as a mother that allows me to see through bullshit, or maybe I just prefer straight talk - but all this news of ‘fake news’ ‘fake documents’ should be called what they are. Lies. Deceit.
We just suffered through 5 long years of lies and deceit. Not issues open to interpretation. Not little white lies that save feelings from being hurt. But lies upon lies followed by a staggering level of gaslighting that I’ve never before seen in the public realm, to convince us that maybe facts aren’t really facts.
For some incomprehensible reason we still won’t call out lies. We won’t be blunt. We are afraid of the consequences. Effective gaslighting makes us doubt the truth. We look for ‘both sides of the story’, as if there were two sides to scientific facts.
In the U.S., I suspect our fear of calling out lies is, in part, fear of legal action. The legal system stands ready and willing to punish those who call out unethical and even blatantly illegal actions, with legions of lawyers and PR firms standing ready to protect the guilty. If you have enough money, you can pile on the legal fees until the truth is buried. Did you notice that single of hour of coverage of Bill Gates staying at Jeffrey Epstein’s parties after everyone else had gone home? I did. Story gasped for air and was suffocated, as often happens when the subject is one of the richest people in the world. The divorce announcement came out several weeks later, with artful whiffs of an unfortunate workplace affair 20 years earlier. Really? And raise your hand if you think Prince Andrew will ever be truly investigated for potentially soliciting sex with a minor through Epstein. He lied about his relationship with Epstein, even while photos appeared everywhere. Don’t even get me started on the global levels of tax evasion, lies which are a major contributor to global wealth inequality.
Lies kill indirectly, as we saw with Princess Diana. Lies kill directly, killing people and ripping the fabric of society. Yes, systemic racism exists in the U.S. and people are dying because of racism, both violently and slowly. Yes, climate change is really happening and it’s being fueled by human activity. Yes there is a global pandemic. We ignore these truths at our peril. We change our actions, and we change how we look at others as trust erodes. I’m vaccinated and I’ve worn a mask throughout because the scientific facts are indisputable. I’ll keep wearing a mask unless I’m with people I know are vaccinated and took covid seriously, because those that denied the facts and refused the masks likely aren’t vaccinated either, and are willing to lie about it. I will also never look at my fellow humans the same way again. For me the world is now separated into ‘part of the human race’ and ‘all for me, the rest of you be damned’.
Lies are used to manipulate the public by many a despot. Lying has become the norm for world leaders. Though the ultimate winner of the global Liar’s Poker game must be the past president, who deflected from his utter incompetence in governing or handling a pandemic by casting doubt on the existence of the virus as part of his pattern of 30,573 ‘false or misleading claims’ during his time in office. ‘False or misleading claims’ We can’t even call some of the more obvious examples ‘lies’. We have become so habituated to lying that the truth feels jarring and uncomfortable - out of fashion. Calling out lies makes us feel socially uncomfortable when so much effort is made in perpetuating the lies.
This unwillingness to call out lies is profoundly damaging to each of us personally and collectively and keeps us from pursuing positive change.
Allowing lies to proliferate erodes the trust that forms the bedrock of every single relationship. Whether a relationship between friends, spouses, corporations and employees, government and citizens. We can’t improve our world until we start calling out lies.
Think of a lie someone told you. How did it feel?
Start seeing the lies. Start hearing the lies. And start calling out lies. As lies.